Like I stated Sunday, my word for this year is Believe. This means an ever deepening belief in God, a renewal of belief in myself, and a jumpstart into belief in my dreams. But believing for me doesn't just happen, there are lots of things where my faith cannot be shaken, but belief for me is a different story. Belief often times wavers based on the situations and the knowledge in my head. So this year is about solidifying my beliefs. Building them on rock, instead of shifting sand and anchoring them in truth so that even in the most precarious storms, they aren't shaken. I have four words that are going to help me get to this state; transparency, intention, brave, and trust. Let me tell you about each of them.
We were made to know and to be known on a deep and intimate level. People were created to be able to look into a loved ones eyes, or hear the tone of a friend's voice and just know how they were feeling, things they are thinking, what is left unsaid. We are made for deep connection and transparency in our lives and within our relationships. This is a really hard thing and wildly disliked thing to me. I layer on thick, impenetrable cloaks to hide under and come out from under them only with force. But, because of that I'm not known. My soul looks at those of my friends and knows them well, but is murky and shaded when looked upon. It deeply desires to be free of the smoke surrounding it and intertwine with love and trust, unjaded, clear, and bright. But fear and doubt keep it quiet. This year I will push myself out of my comfort zone and dance with vulnerability. I will create relationships that breathe belief in the knowing because of how deeply our souls are intertwined.
Intentional living is one of my biggest goals this year. While my intentions in the past were good, they're all too often surround and suffocated by fear and doubt. Relationships have quietly dissolved or become distant, not out of ill will but from lack of communication, or flakey plans. Goals, written and established fall forgotten because of lack of follow through. Dreams, alive only in my sleep because I don't pursue them. Fears that I cant achieve my dreams, will let a friend down, or that I can't handle my goal once it's met team up with the doubt that fuels the lazy and together, they create stagnation. I'm tired of living a life that's blatantly horizontal. I want 2015 to be the year I hold my dreams in my hands, surrounded by deep relationships because I believed these things were worthy of intentional pursuit, and I hustled to make them happen.
This word. This word is a catalyst, a declaration, and a hope all wrapped up in a single syllable. Brave is the fuel of my 2015. It is with bravery that I dare take off the cloaks and open up. It's with bravery that I choose to live in intention and believe my dreams are worth the fight. It's with bravery that I choose to trust. Bravery is more than diving into icy waters or towering flames for a rescue. Bravery is seeing clearly, and defining your own worth. It's exploring the depths of who you are so when the time comes to answer the a call, hesitation is a myth. It's believing that you are here for a specific reason and refusing to acknowledge any other reality. It's asking what He has planned for you and saying yes the moment His answer arrives. It's daring, and scary, and wonderful, and adventure. Brave is dreams and love and belief and passion. Brave is all the things, and the emotions, all the words, in four little letters.
Trust is a major theme in my life. The earning of it, giving of it, and relying on it struggle has a role in every day. My blog is named Trusting Adventure because if my life is a journey, the finish line is the arrival at full, unyielding trust. It's one of things I want the most, yet fall short of with the most frequency. It a choice that I make at the beginning of a conversation or activity and then run and hide the second it gets too close. It's the missing ingredient that's needed to take my heart from believing in the existence of Him, to believing in the reality of Him and promises He made. This year I want to commit to trust. I want to actively trust the transparency in my relationships that they will be made deeper and more impacting, not that they will end up using my vulnerability as a weapon against me. I want to trust that the intentions I have are pure and for worthwhile causes. I want to trust my judgment in them and pursue them wholeheartedly. I want to trust in my own bravery, that it is enough and capable of major change. I want to trust my Creator that He knows and loves all of me and truly has this life of mine under control.
These are the big things I can think of that will make believe happen. None of them will be easy, but all of them are worth the struggle. I'm excited at the thought of this year and the adventures it will undoubtedly take me on. So, here's to 2015. Here's to belief, transparency, intention, brave and trust. Here's to a life made perfectly by Perfection and the joys 365 days can bring.