I see you there, you look like you’re sitting peacefully, holding onto that warm mug with one hand and twirling your pen in the other. You look like you’ve got it all together; fresh make-up, effortless style, neat stacks of papers and folders, everything looks perfectly in its place. You look so…adult. Sitting there, like the world of weight you’re carrying on your shoulders is barely slowing you down. But I can tell by the way you’re staring at that paper and then looking out of the window that your mind is anything but quiet right now. I see you, and even though you feel like nobody else would get it, I promise you, you're not alone..
You wear so many hats. You do so many things, and Girl, its good. It really is. You’ve picked such worthy tasks to take on. You honor so many so well because you love so hard, you give so freely, and you always, always show up. Do you know how special you are? Do you know how much you’re appreciated? From the way you remembered your coworkers coffee order and surprised her with a hot cup Monday morning, to how you text your mom every Thursday at 8 because you know she watches that one show she can’t get enough of at 7, and even though you never remember what happened last time with “the President and his secret spy lady”, you know she wants to talk about it. Then there’s the fundraiser you signed up to volunteer for at the school, and the Youth ministry’s snack bar you faithfully tend to every Wednesday, reminding every awkward little body how much they are worth. You are such a precious gift to so many people, most of them don’t even realize how much you do.
They don’t realize that even when you’re going 16 hours a day, from one job to the next, dashing from volunteering at church to having coffee with a hurting friend, they don’t realize you’re going over every interaction in your head, feeling like there was so much more you could have given. Making notes in the calendar on your iPhone to call that person to wish them good luck or to check in on your broken hearted roommate. There isn’t a single hour of your life that you aren’t looking to share with someone one else whether in spirit or in person. You are a rare kind of soul; always finding the beauty in everyone’s hearts but so awfully hard on your own.
They don’t realize you fill your life with the needs of everyone else because maybe, just maybe if you solve everyone else’s problems yours will go away too. They don’t know that even though loving the world through its dark days makes your heart swell, you don’t have a single clue how to let it love you back. They wonder how you do it all, they marvel at your ability to “go, go, go”. You laugh and say, “it just sounds like a lot” even though inside you wish you could say, “because if I stop helping you, I’ll remember that I can’t help myself. If I stop loving the world, how will I deserve its love?”
Can I come sit down with you? Can I come and tell you who you really are? I want to remind you of the constant flow of loving words pouring in your direction. I want to open the armor you wear so faithfully to deflect it and fill you with every drop of those rushing waters. You deserve those words, you don’t have to earn them. You, dear Girl, are already worthy. You, fueled by a strange combination of abundant love and anxious thoughts, are completely good. You, who never feels like she’s done enough has done more than she will ever know. You are a beautiful reflection of the girl born in her Creator’s heart. You make Him so proud, every single day. You are strong enough to stand the silence of your own company. You are whole enough to deal with your brokenness. You are human enough to ask for help and holy enough to accept it. You are brave enough for a life that includes you, too.
You, dear Girl, are all kinds of enough.